Bigger than the fear of death is the fear of life, have you ever felt your whole life coming at you at once?? In those moments death seems little, peaceful compared to the full force of life, I think of it as a personal tsunami, would you not be afraid of seeing a tsunami coming right at you?
Life force is great dont misunderstand me, but I think im in of those moments where you feel you have strayed out ver bad from the path you chosed.
Also I think that this writing is heavily influenced by Saikano very cool and sad anime, shows you how much we suck and the only thing good in humanity is love.
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